"Ah Mary. She'll bake you cookies then she'll burn your town. Ah Mary. Ashes ashes but she won't fall down."

New Jersey, United States of America

I could feel my heart racing, my palms getting sweaty. The Best Buy clerk looking at me expectantly, presenting two of the fifty options for headphones in each of his hands. He started repeating maybe for the tenth time what all of the different varieties did. Wireless ones, not wireless ones, Bluetooth ones, ones with microphones, ones without, ones that "lock" in your ear, black ones, red ones, white ones, ones that apparently massage your neck while you listen. I screamed inside my head, Christ, I just want to hear my music! I wanted to apologize, somehow explain my indecisive breakdown. How I'd been in a place for ten months where when I went in a store and asked for something the clerk hands me the one option there is, I smile, say thank you, slap money on the counter and I'm out the door.

Up until this point I felt like I had handled the reverse culture shock well, that I hadn't been affected by the re-acclamation from an underdeveloped country back into a developed one. New things like phones that talk to you and make your life choices and little pods of Tide laundry detergent (Tidepod?) amused me rather then made my head spin trying to comprehend them. People often asked, "Is it weird being back?" The only answer I could give that sums up my feelings best was it feels familiar but entirely unfamiliar. I went home knowing I would appreciate my mother country all the more. Things like running water, constant electricity, and climate control were much more well received then when I left. Those things I expected though. What I didn't expect was how much more the consumerism stuck out, the advertising, the countless options of everything from headphones to toothpicks. Is this one of the many ways America stays on top? Is this why Mongolians I associate with hold my country in such awe? Why the average American can't place Mongolia on a map? I chuckle at the thought of having Dakraa or one of my coworkers standing beside me in the mall, just to watch their reaction.

Being home, while giving me new perspective also refreshed me beyond measure. My fears about whether or not I'd appear different in my family and friends eyes seemed to extinguish the minute I stepped back in my house. Everyone seemed the same, and I hope I seemed the same to them too. Within days it was like I had never left. Old routines with people I shared my time with ten months ago were the same. I only wish I had more time. I felt as though I wanted to see everyone all the time all at once. The two weeks back in New Jersey was just what I needed. The generosity and curiosity of the people I care most about surprised and humbled me. I'm so blessed to have so much love coming from two continents. So to my friends and my family you have all my gratitude. I hope to see you all next time I cross the gap.